Optimistic negative thing
by Makiko Igami
Summary: "Birthdays as a kid were great." Noctis' birthdays through the years and how he had always wished for just one thing. And the year that he got it, he almost ruined it. Promptis


Birthdays as a kid were great.

Everybody in the citadel wished him a happy birthday, he would get his favorite treats starting breakfast and his father, the king, would make time for him to the point where he spent most of the day with him.

Noctis loved his father, who was always kind and smiled at him, who had the warmest hugs and the scratchiest kisses thanks to his beard that tickled Noctis' soft skin whenever their cheeks rubbed against each other. He knew these days were special, because he knew that even though his father tried to do his best to see him as often as he could, sometimes he just couldn't. There was a kingdom to be ruled, the city of Insomnia to be protected and Noctis was just one person. But he missed nothing.

His fifth birthday was special. He had friends now, a tall boy called Ignis, who looked much older than the three years between them. He was bossy, but, well, Noctis guessed that came with his age and role as his advisor. Whatever that was supposed to mean. He had been three years old then and all that he cared about was playing outside in the citadel's garden with the toys he had collected over the years.

This year however, just after lunch, his father came to him and hugged him wordlessly.

"Why are you sad?" Noctis asked, trying to squirm away from that scratchy beard.

"Noct, my boy, you know that I love you more than anything on Eos?" Regis said, his voice shaking slightly.

"I _know_ dad, you tell me every day!" Noctis replied, giggling, because that stupid beard was tickling him just too much.

"Good," Regis sighed, setting him down on his lap. "You know that I am the one making sure that no daemons or other dangerous things come into Insomnia thanks to the power of the Crystal at the heart of this Citadel, right? One day, that will be your duty, as the crown prince..."

"I know, but that's still a long time to go, right?" Noctis grinned. "You're going to be king for a long time still."

"That's right," Regis smiled, charmed by his son's youthful optimism. He ran a hand through his hair, looking like he would promise him the impossible so that he would never know a day of sadness.

Noctis smiled back at him and hugged him tight.

"Noct, what do you say about a day away from all of this? Dad will teach you how to fish," the king grinned boyishly and picked him up. A wide grin spread over Noctis' face. Everything with his father was fun and he was sure that even though Ignis seemed to be appalled by the idea, fishing sounded like fun.

Three years later, Noctis had been on his way back from a very fun trip when the convoy he was in was attacked by a vicious daemon. It had a snake tail and the body of a woman with six arms that wielded six swords that cut easily through everything. As he ended up on the ground, gravely wounded by cuts on his back, blood everywhere, all that he could think of was how he was glad that Ignis hadn't been there with him because he had been bedridden by something ridiculous like a cold.

The last thing he saw before he lost consciousness was his father wielding his swords, fighting the monster.

The next time he woke up, his father was leaning over him with a worried expression. He didn't know how long he had slept, but something told him that it had been quite some time. But he was still exhausted. So he just fell asleep again a short while later.

He celebrated his next birthday with Luna in Tenebrae. Luna was fun, but he learned about the history of the Oracle - her mother - and the magic of the king. She taught him about the Starscrouge, the disease which he had caught as the daemon's blood touched his wounds. Luna's mother had done her best to heal him of that, but some of it seemed to have gotten him bad and that was why he was sleepy so often now. However, Luna was also three years older than him and a lot more dutiful than Noct thought he could ever be. Her brother Ravus was even worse and Noctis found himself missing Ignis every now and then.

However, they had these yummy pastries every day, and Noctis was happy.

That was until Niflheim attacked and annexed Tenebrae, killing Luna's mother in the process. His own dutiful part admired her for staying behind to be there for her people, but he couldn't help ask his father if she would be okay again and again on the ride home to Insomnia. He remembered how his father's face showed his frustration and anger, but also worry as he reassured Noctis again and again that she would be okay.

Somehow birthdays were less fun after that. Ignis did his best to recreate everything that he liked to eat, but kept bugging him with vegetables and greens that Noctis had no interest in. He found a friend in Gladio's little sister Iris, went to a public school in hopes that he could make a friend there. However, his classmates were more interested in his status rather than his person. There had been this heavy boy who had approached him one day with a camera in his hand, but alas, it didn't seem like they were in the same class.

His father was still celebrating his birthdays with him, but the world seemed a lot duller than it had been before the attack of that daemon.

Noctis directed his teenage tantrums at both Ignis and Gladio, both young men trying to shape them in the way they had been shaped. It was frustrating, because they were such know-it-alls and even if Gladio was open and honest with him after a good sparring round, he was still older and it frustrated Noctis that he didn't take his problems serious enough.

The only thing he had been looking for on his fourteenth birthday was to go fishing with his dad and he was more than a little delighted as they sat on their respective foldable chairs, fishing lines somewhere in the lake, listening to the sounds insects and animals made all around them. The crownsguard was there to keep them safe from any and all daemon attacks, Gladio and his father making sure that the king and his son were undisturbed and Noctis swore it was the most at peace he had felt in many years.

He told his father about school, how he had no problem at all with the topics, admitted that he was just lazy to do even better. But he was on top of his class anyway, no need to outdo himself and frustrate the others even more.

"You're very kind," Regis had laughed, making Noctis blush and almost miss the trout that had caught his lure. After he had pulled in the fish and put it into the container so that they could eat it later on, he found himself admitting that he missed only one thing in his life. Despite all the kids in his class, he had no one of his age with similar interests, no one he could call his friend.

His father smiled wistfully, turning to look out at the lake.

"Your mother was my best friend before she became my wife," Regis said, his voice growing heavy. "Losing her... broke my heart... But in return I got you and she lives on in you. You make living without her easier."

Noctis stared at his father. For all the time he had known his father, the king had never talked about his feelings for Noctis' mother and the prince had always thought that it hurt him just too much. He had learned that his mother was a beautiful woman, gentle and kind and that he had inherited most of her traits. Only his temper had been courtesy of his father, but alas, that was nothing that he couldn't keep in check.

"Dad..."

"I know I don't talk much about her... but there hasn't been a day when I haven't thought about her, when I haven't missed her. I'm sorry that you weren't allowed to meet her," Regis said, his face wearing the same expression he had worn 9 years ago, on Noctis' fifth birthday.

"It's okay... I... I don't really... I miss her, but it's... It's okay? That sounds cold, but..."

"You've never known your mother. Makes it hard to miss her as much as I miss her," Regis smiled, his features smoothing over. "Ah, I can't wait to see you fall in love. It's the most wonderful, the most painful feeling."

"Oh god, _dad_ , please. I'm not interested in these kinds of things!"

"Are you sure? Ignis tells me some of your comics are pretty saucy," Regis teased, just to burst out laughing at Noctis' deep red face.

"That's... that's just... I-I mean... I'm supposed to look at these things, am I not?" Noctis tried to plead his case.

"I'm not judging you," Regis said. "You're young, you're a boy, you're probably bursting with hormones, so I guess I can be glad that you haven't tried to make a move on anyone yet. I would be very disappointed to learn about these things from the press."

"I... Dad, there isn't anyone I'm interested in. Even if, they wouldn't be interested in _me_ because everybody just seems to want to know about the prince and not, well, _me_."

"Mhm, that is indeed a problem... But trust me, son, eventually you will find the one who you will be head over heels for."

Noctis sighed and steered the conversation away from that sensitive topic to much safer things like math tests and history lessons. The young prince even humored his father by expressing an interest in the current politics and he learned that Lucis was in ongoing negotiations with Nifelheim and that they worked how not to let them escalate into a new war, even if Nifelheim seemed to be hiding many things from them.

It was only much later, when they were back at home that Noctis realized that his father hadn't been talking about a girl that Noctis might fall in love with. Since he hadn't really been leaning to either gender in his phantasies yet, he felt relieved that this wouldn't be a war that he had to fight. By then, he was aware that his father had been a very lucky man to be able to marry the woman that he loved and that Noctis might not be so lucky in the not so far future, but at least his father sounded supportive should he ever fall in love with whoever he fell in love.

Sleeping that night was easy.

Noctis' sixteenth birthday wasn't what he had expected the year before.

His fifteenth birthday had been the first he spent in his own apartment, a spacious place near the school he went to with a nice view on the citadel. But Noctis needed that distance to his upcoming duties and while moving during the summer break was a pain in the ass with the hot weather, he was happy where he was now. He had promised to spend most of the next months in the Citadel still, but as soon as high school started for him, he vowed to stay here and live his life before he had to live his life for the throne alone. Noctis wanted to go out, he wanted to find a friend, he wanted to find love, he wanted to live his life.

He had never said any of these things to his father. But Regis had encouraged him to live his life away from the palace, told him to live his life to the fullest in his youth. However, neither of them had expected these things to happen so quickly.

In April, on his first day of high school, he was approached by a lanky boy with a grin so wide and friendly that he was blinded for a second. Still, something had been familiar and it had taken Noctis a few seconds to realize that this was the heavy kid from back then. He learned that his name was Prompto, that he loved photography and animals, cute ones especially.

They just clicked off immediately and after a week, Noctis had invited Prompto over for the first time. After that it seemed that Prompto had just moved in with Noctis, going home sometimes, but most of the time he spent his time with his new friend, two lonely boys finding solace in each other.

Prompto's parents were hardly ever home, Noctis' apartment was closer to school anyway and if Ignis wasn't coming over, they spent most of their summer break playing video games, going out sometimes to have some fast food and for Prompto to take some photos.

Therefore, for his sixteenth birthday, he had his first proper birthday party. He had invited Ignis, Gladio and Iris along with Prompto, who had spent half the day decorating his apartment with balloons and garlands. Ignis had cooked, once more closer to the Tenebraen pastries that Noctis liked so much with his own creations. He got presents, so many of them! A letter from Luna, too, with a pair of pressed flowers, the blue ones that only grew in Tenebrae. Ignis gave him a notebook made of the finest leather, Gladio had wrapped one of his favorite romance novels and had handed it over with the words 'For your sweet sixteen... may it help you get laid, nerd.' Of course he had made sure that Iris hadn't heard that, the girl engrossed in the last final touches to her own present, a stuffed bunny with a red bow. Noctis had smiled, but he couldn't help but stare at Prompto eagerly. Over the months his friend had quickly become his best friend because for some reason, Prompto knew exactly what he liked at all times. So he was anxious to know what it was that he had always wanted for his birthday.

He wasn't even surprised when it turned out to be a large picture frame. It was cheap, but the photos inside were invaluable. They showed Noctis and his friends, smiling and happy and Noctis stared at himself, amazed that he was even capable of these expression.

Naturally, he thanked Prompto exuberantly, making this awkward for both of them until they laughed it off sheepishly.

They played games, they ate, they drank and had a lot of fun and Noctis realized that he was the happiest he had ever been. At night, after the party, they dropped Prompto off on their way to the Citadel, because Noctis had promised his father that they would go fishing together the following day.

As they sat there together, his father looking so much older than the two years that had passed since the last time they had done this, Noctis couldn't help but feel guilt tugging on his heart, because he couldn't stop thinking about how much Prompto would love this, taking pictures of this and that.

"You look happier, my son," Regis noted with a fond smile.

"Ah- I guess I am," Noctis replied, smiling wistfully down his fishing rod.

"How was your party yesterday? Did you have fun?"

"Mhm... it was great. I didn't... It was nice having a party with friends. It would have been nice if Luna had been there, too, but she sent a present with Umbra," Noctis said, feeling his cheeks heat up when he remembered how much Prompto had gushed over the intimidating looking dog. Once he learned that he and Pryna were siblings, he looked at Noctis with the most adorable surprised look and he found his heart missing a beat or two at that look.

"My son... I can see you're not quite here with your thoughts," Regis teased gently, glancing over with a knowing smile that Noctis hated as much as it made his face turn red.

"Y-yes... I... I've told you probably about him, but this... this guy at my school - Prompto - I've only known him for a few months, but he's already become my best friend and I... I don't know... didn't know what I've been missing," Noctis explained and bit his lip, glaring at the water that was suspiciously still, as if no fish wanted to disturb the conversation between father and son.

"Ah, I remember how that was. I'm glad you've found a friend, my son," Regis smiled and Noctis still hated how his smile hinted on how there were so many things that he thought but wouldn't say to his son so that he wouldn't upset him. "You've been wishing for one for the longest time."

"I... yeah," Noctis sighed, defeated. "It's... we like the same things and we finish each other's sentences sometimes and he says the dorkiest things like 'we finish each other's sandwiches' and he makes me laugh and just... He's a good guy. I want to make him happy. I want to see him smile every day," he admitted, blushing a little more.

"My boy..." Regis said, his voice thick with an emotion that Noctis couldn't quite decipher, but he thought he heard pity in it. "If you feel that way about him... don't hold back to tell him. One day it might be too late."

"...Are you talking about mom?" Noctis asked, feeling as if that was what his father was hinting at.

Regis nodded. "I've been thinking about her more often lately. Maybe it's the age," he shrugged, looking up at the blue sky with that look of melancholy that he seemed to wear more often lately. "In my experience... it's better to have loved once and lose it than to have never loved at all."

He turned to look at his son, grey eyes holding the gaze of much similar eyes. "Don't hesitate to voice your feelings, they might just be returned."

Noctis nodded, but he wondered if his father had really just encouraged him to confess to his best friend. He, _they_ were just that, friends. There wasn't anything more! Or at least that's what Noctis thought there was, not wanting to ruin the first friendship he had ever built himself by confessing feelings like a lovesick puppy.

But maybe his father was right. If 'lovesick puppy' was a description for anyone, it was for Prompto. The touches, the looks and everything they shared did feel like a lot more than just being friends. Maybe there was more to them that they both saw.

"I'll give it a try when I feel like it," Noctis sighed, just to be saved by a rather large fish biting.

They repeated the birthday party almost two months later for Prompto's sixteenth birthday. The boy cried when he opened Noctis' present, a high-class DSLR camera, the one he had been saving money for for months now. He accused Noctis of being unfair and almost demanded that he'd give it back, but Noctis explained that he didn't care about how much the camera had cost. It was what Prompto had wanted and Noctis wanted Prompto to be happy, so the monetary worth of this camera was neglectable. Noctis stopped himself before he could say something he could regret in the company of Ignis and Gladio, but if Prompto had asked him for it, he would have given him the stars in the sky.

Maybe he was right. Maybe he should just face the fact that he felt more for his best friend than just friendship. Maybe he should just do as his father had suggested and confess.

Ignis gave Prompto a thick and heavy book about the mannerisms at the court of Lucii, and Gladio told Prompto that he would personally train him and introduce him to Cor Leonis, so that he would get some muscle on that scrawny body of his. He'd need it if he wanted to stay in the company of the crown prince longer.

Aside from all the very practical presence, Noctis could see that it mattered more to Prompto that his advisors and companions had accepted him in their inner circle and he smiled as he saw the blond wipe at his eyes more furiously.

On a whim, he asked him to stay the night. It was a Saturday after all. Ignis made them promise to use the guest bed of the couch, but as they sat and watched one of Prompto's favorite movies late at night, almost leaning against each other, they agreed wordlessly, that they would just share the bed like usual.

"Hey, Prom," Noctis said as the movie neared its climax. The heroine and her sidekick watched the lights from the castle fly and light up the sky and even Noctis, who had seen the movie many times but still couldn't feel as enthusiastic about it as Prompto, was moved by the image painted on the large screen of his TV.

"Hm?" the blond hummed, eyes glued to the screen as he hugged one of the couch cushions to his chest.

"I... I've been thinking," Noctis started, his throat suddenly dry and that didn't change, no matter how often he swallowed.

"That's a new one," Prompto said automatically, his voice a teasing tone, until he realized that Noctis wasn't in the mood for one of the jokes. "...What is it?" he asked, looking suddenly very worried and Noctis lost all will to change the status of their relationship. Things were good the way they were, he couldn't handle it if they changed for the worse.

"Hm, it's been a good day today... What do you think about going out for a photo tour tomorrow? I'll ask Ignis to drive us to that place I've told you about," he said then instead of confessing how much he wanted them to be more than friends, how he sometimes dreamed about kissing his best friend.

"Really?" Prompto's face lit up and somehow there was suddenly a herd of butterflies in Noctis' stomach. He swallowed dryly again. "Wait, you just want to go fishing!"

"What... no! I told you, it's a beautiful place and it's the _perfect_ opportunity for you to try out your new camera!"

"And you can go fishing," Prompto smirked, making Noctis roll his eyes.

"Yeah. But that's not the point!"

"It's cool, man. I'm happy anyway. Besides you're right. I need to try out all the settings of this lady to find out how they work best. I'm game!"

"Great. Let me just... send a text to Ignis..."

"Mhm..."

Needless to say that Ignis wasn't too enthused to find them tangled in each other in Noctis' bed the following morning. Still, he said nothing as he drove them to the lake where Noctis and his father usually went to fish. Gladio teased them every now and then, but it felt more like he did it because he had to and to distract from the fact that he was still wearing the exact same clothes as the night before. If it hadn't been something very casual, Noctis might now have noticed, but he had never before seen that Chocobo shirt on Gladio. Still, he said nothing because to him it was more important to see Prompto's face light up at every new things.

Really, the beauty of the scenery wasn't completely lost on Noctis, otherwise he wouldn't have wanted to show it to Prompto, but the photographer pointed out details left and right that had Noctis look at the scene with new eyes. Prompto managed to paint a whole different picture than the one Noctis had seen so many times.

The herd of butterflies were back in his stomach and he didn't know how long he could stay friends with Prompto like this.

August 29th the following year ended up being the deadline. Prompto had fuzzed too long about wanting to making Noctis' seventeenth birthday even more awesome than his sixteenth and as he was hanging even more balloons and streamers and garlands everywhere, Noctis decided that he couldn't wait for another day. It was getting late anyway and once Prompto was done, he told him to sit down and watch that favorite movie of his again.

It was like a deja-vu, Noctis sitting on his couch, watching the heroine and her sidekick watch the lights rising from the castle with Prompto hugging the pillow to him, just like almost a year ago.

"Prom," he said, feeling much surer this time. This could have to do with the fact that the blond was pressed to his side, Noctis arm heavy on his shoulders. "Prom, I need to tell you something."

"Hm? What is it? Have you been thinking again?" Prompto teased and Noctis rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, you dork, I've been thinking about you. Many, many times. I've been dreaming about you. Like, you've been on my mind every moment, every day, every night. Not just when I'm awake, but also when I'm asleep."

"Dude, that sounds like you're, what, in love with me?" Prompto said as he sat up straight to look into Noctis' eyes.

"...What if I were?" Noctis asked, holding that gaze, no matter how much he just wanted to run away.

"...I don't know," Prompto replied after a moment, averting his gaze, but there was a blush on his cheek. "I... I don't know. I-I mean, how can I know anything if you don't know yourself?"

"Well, it's the first time I've ever felt something like this, how am I supposed to know what this is?"

"...Good point. I guess there's just one way to find out," Prompto replied, looking back up.

Yep, his cheeks were red.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, uh, kiss? The prince's kiss, you know?" Prompto joked and they both cringed at how bad it was.

"I guess it's the only way to know for sure, if that's okay with you?" Noctis asked, suddenly feeling that army of butterflies in his stomach again. His arm shook as he raised it to put his suddenly numb and cold fingers on Prompto's cheek, tilting his head so that he had a better aim. "Promise me we'll still be friends if this doesn't turn out to be more... I don't want to lose you."

"Me neither," Prompto whispered, leaning forward just enough to give Noctis the sign to proceed.

"Good," Noctis whispered as he closed the last bit of distance between the two of them.

Their first kiss was clumsy, a simple thing of lips on lips that reminded Noctis of the kisses between his father and him. However, it was entirely different the moment he heard Prompto gasp.

He pulled away then, not trusting himself with anything then.

"I fear it's true," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "I might just be in love with you. At least that's what it feels like..."

"Noct..." Prompto sighed, his eyes still closed, his lips slightly parted and wet.

"I'm s-," Noctis murmured because he just needed to kiss him again. And it didn't seem like Prompto returned his feelings.

"Me too."

"Huh?" Noctis blinked staring down into Prompto's violet blue eyes, crinkled up with a sheepish grin.

"Guess I'm in love with you, too. Stupid prince."

"Prom..."

"Happy birthday... I hope you can accept me as your present this year," Prompto grinned and Noctis glanced over his shoulder to see that the clock in the kitchen had just turned midnight.

"You know, if you say things like that, I'm gonna do more than just kiss you," Noctis said, his pupils widening as the implications of that sentence made his blood rush south.

"Oh, yeah? Tell me, I'm open to quite a few things," Prompto replied, having the audacity to smirk at him.

"Don't tempt me... didn't you want to watch this?" Noctis asked, nodding over his shoulder towards the TV.

"I know it by heart... Doesn't matter skipping the end once or twice," Prompto shrugged and gave Noctis his best puppy eyes and Astrals, Noctis was weak to those.

"Fine. Then I'll claim my present now," he said, a little dumbfounded, but so happy that he could burst before he kissed Prompto again. It was still clumsy and far from perfect, but they were getting there. The next day he told Luna about it and she congratulated him, wishing them all the luck.

On his eighteenth birthday, he took Prompto with him to the Citadel, introducing him to his father. They went fishing and Prompto took photos of the old king and his son that they framed and hung on his wall.

On his nineteenth birthday, Noctis took Prompto on a trip for just the two of them. They didn't see much of the ocean then. Instead they made their own vows and promised to stay together for the rest of their lives.

On his twentieth birthday, Noctis became king and set off to marry Luna to seal the treaty between Lucis and Nifelheim, unaware of the implications. But Prompto was by his side and he knew that Luna knew where his heart belonged already, so he wasn't scared to marry someone he didn't love, because he knew the one that he did love would be by his side forever.

Birthdays with Prompto were the best.


End file.
